Excessive Enoughness

Here’s an odd, but curious question for you: Have you ever wondered if you had some sort of ‘thought-process syndrome’? Okay, maybe not a syndrome, but do you wonder if you over-think unimportant things that you wish you could not think about?
I know; odd question, right? But my mind wanders and I start thinking about the way I think, and if the way I think is messed up or crazy or just straight-up unique (I’m leaning towards unique, ’cause that’s how I’d
like to think of myself as).

Why do I bring this up? Because I’m curious to know if anyone else experiences this. Let’s extrapolate, shall we?!

The first thing I seem to stress over is doing enough for someone, especially someone special, like a good friend or family member. The best way to understand what the hell I’m talking about would be to give some examples I suppose 😛
So there was this holiday that came and passed recently, called Christmas I think it was.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve personally reached the point where I request things I need on my Wish List versus what I’d like. Obviously making a Wish List makes shopping easier for others, so likewise, I’d appreciate a Wish List for whom I’m shopping for. Not only for a variety of ideas, but I also want to make sure I get them something they’d use or enjoy, rather than another pointless knickknack that’ll collect dust or be used as a paperweight.
Once I get the anticipated Wish List, I brave the psychotic world of mall shopping and see what items I can get at a decent deal. Let’s say I’m shopping for… Frankfurt… no… Agatha! Let’s say I’m shopping for Agatha and she mentioned she would like a new necklace, the newest cupcake cookbook, a pair of socks, headphones, a star named after her, nail clippers, and a pony.
I’d get the easiest things first; the nail clippers in her favourite colour, three pairs of socks, fancy headphones, and since I can’t decide which of the two pretty necklaces I like best, I buy them both (notice I already went above the requirement for these basic requests?). Then I go onto the next person and start shopping for them. Then (if I happen to be that proactive) I wrap the gifts I’ve gotten Agatha thus far. And I look at the beautifully wrapped presents sitting on my bed (HA! I wrap like a two-year-old).
And then the syndrome kicks in. This isn’t enough for Agatha. A) She deserves more, B) I want her to have more things to open, because opening things is fun, C) She won’t be happy unless she has more, D) I need to get her more.
Based on that conclusion, I return to the list. I visit Chapters and ask for help finding the newest cupcake cookbook. It would take me far too long to walk through the store looking for the cookbook, so I usually target a salesperson when I know what I want. Saves sooo much time! And then I’d go to the pony store and buy Agatha a new, shiny pony (on sale of course)! And then I’d see what I could do about the star-naming.
Okay, let’s be serious, I wouldn’t actually go and get a star named Agatha for her… Sure I love her, but first of all, what a highly unfortunate name that star would have to endure, and secondly, I’m not going to blow that much money on Agatha. I do have some reasoning, and a pony I think was good enough… I think…
So then I’d head home and wrap the cookbook and wrap the pony (for argument’s sake, let’s say she wanted a fake one). And then I’d ponder some more… What else would dear old Agatha like that she didn’t put on her list? Maybe I should name a star after her after all… Maybe I should get her a house for her pony?! Maybe I should name a PLANET after her?! She wouldn’t expect that!
And that’s where I need to slap myself, accept the fact that I can only do so much, and deal with it. Well, looking back on this, I think I should have slapped myself and gotten over it before I even bought her the pony!
This is also where I think it’s weird that between the time I’m done shopping and wrapping the gifts and the time that Agatha will unwrap the gifts (which is like a period of two days, because let’s face it, who’s gonna go shopping ahead of time?) I’m slightly stressed. I’m stressed because during that lengthy time I’m wondering if she’ll be content? Will she enjoy what she received? Will she secretly want that planet that she didn’t ask for, but I thought she might like, and hate me for not getting it?
I think I want to please others too much. No, I know I want to please others too much. Ugh, *sigh*.
But then on Christmas day, Agatha opens her gifts and everything seems peachy and she’s ecstatic (and so is everyone else, because I went through the same ordeal for each individual, except for my brother, because really, he wasn’t gonna get me anything anyways :P).
It’s not just Christmas day that stresses me out due to this thought-process.
Let’s pause, and enjoy this picture for a moment before I continue.

These are some peanut butter cookies I made, complete with a Reese cup shoved in the middles!
Don’t they look delicious?
They were!!!
I made them for my friend’s surprise birthday party 🙂
Originally, I thought, Ooh! I could make these, and some of that, and a couple of those. She might like some of this, too! Don’t worry, I didn’t. Because I realized that that was overkill (Yay me!). Plus I was tired. And I remembered there were other people who would be bringing things too.
So, instead, I made sixty-three of these cookies!!! Bahahaha! Seriously, I made SIXTY-THREE of these! Oh god, that’s still overkill!
Don’t worry, it turned out for the best, because I brought approximately twenty to the party (see, mixing together one batch would have been sufficient :S) and the rest I ended up bringing to family Christmas events and work. Otherwise I would’ve gotten fat eating them all myself. Oh well!
So I hope you can see my ordeal. I need to stop wanting to do things for others in excessive amounts, right?! Maybe tone it down a notch and call it a day. Alright, let’s put that on my resolution list, too! “Continue being thoughtful, but in less amounts so I don’t seem crazy.”

Speaking of “calling it a day”… I also have a knack for needing to do something productive every day. That’s normal, too, right?! I like to feel I’ve accomplished something, otherwise I feel I wasted my day.
Unless I’m sick. Then I’ll do nothing. I’ll hangout in my pajamas and sleep and take drugs to try to feel better (medicinal drugs, people!!). Or, if I’m having a “I hate men” day, then I’ll also do nothing and watch my favourite TV series and movies… Like ALL day, with appropriate meal and pee breaks. Aahhh, now those are fun days! After filling my brain with other people’s fictional problems I end up feeling better about my own. Thank god I don’t have to worry about superpowered villains wanting to kill my boyfriend all the time. Phew!

Well, let’s call it a day today. I wish you all a great week ahead!
Don’t drive yourself too crazy now, wondering if you’re a nutcase or not! Because I’ll save you the time and tell you: you probably are!

Ps. I also have OCD in being highly organized and keeping things clean. But that’s for another post.


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