Communication Matters

Why does communication matter? Because it does 🙂
This is an obvious statement in life: “communication matters”, but for seem reason it struck me more so during this movie I was watching. And I’m speaking of communication specifically in terms of relationships.

What was this wonderful movie? Lemme just clarify right now, it wasn’t over the top crazy-good or anything, but I quite enjoyed it. If you enter the movie with zero expectations and zero hopes for Jennifer Aniston, then it’ll be a great movie for you 😛
It was called “Friends With Money” from 2006… with Joan Cusack, Frances McDormand, Jennifer Aniston, and Catherine Keener (those are the four lead females). It just follows the lives of these four friends at a certain time, not their whole lives, and how each are dealing with different obstacles, etc. And how they talk about their good friends with each other when the friend-in-question isn’t present.

Potential Spoilers… Just watch the damn movie first I guess.

Anyway, so each couple has a different dynamic, and its these dynamics that make it interesting.
Couple 1. Joan Cusack and her hubby – they have a couple of kids, the son might be gay, and they have tons of money. They are also the most communicative couple and the happiest couple.
Couple 2. Frances McDormand and her hubby – everyone suspects McDormand’s husband (Simon McBurney) is actually gay due to his infatuation with his appearance and clothes, and the fact that other men continually mistake him as gay. Frances herself is having some kind of menopausal crisis and is upset with the world.
Couple 3. Catherine Keener and Malfoy’s father (the actor) – they are working on expanding the house and writing a script together. They also have little interest in each other and bicker lots. Lack of communication here! Hint hint!
Semi-Couple 4. Jennifer Aniston… and other guys – so basically single. And a maid. And a pothead. And just a really bad character altogether, bad meaning because her story didn’t seem to fit as well with the other characters. Just a bad role. Ew.

Anyway, I found the display of communication in this movie rather realistic. I LOVE the scenes when the couples would be driving away from a get together (like dinner) and you would watch as the couple discussed a certain topic or issue that was brought up over dinner. Isn’t it so typical of some people to do that? They’d share with their spouse what their perspective was on their friends’ situations, or wonder aloud what they should do to help this friend, or whatnot. Or just comment on someone’s horrible outfit, or someone’s lack of politeness. Just bouncing their thoughts with their spouse and listening to their feedback. I know, simple, right? But nice. It’s nice to just be able to speak your mind with a loved one and know they won’t judge you and add to the conversation with their own opinions.
I just overly enjoyed the candidacy of it all.
I also enjoyed when a couple of girl friends would be together and they’d be discussing another person, like Joan and Catherine talking about McDormand’s husband being gay, and exchanging glances when he makes a new male friend. You know if you were in that situation, you’d be thinking a certain thought, and it was great to hear someone say it out loud for all to hear. Especially McDormand. She spoke her mind constantly, like when she was making fun of the name a parent gave their baby, essentially saying it was a ridiculous name (and it was).

I found the depth and degree of communication each couple shared reflected how secure and happy their relationship was.
Catherine Keener and her condescending husband let issues build up. They didn’t talk about things until it was too late. Instead, they indirectly dished out their issues via their script they were writing, acting out through their characters. Granted, Keener was a little naive about certain things, like the fact that their house expansion would block the ocean view for their neighbours, but it was wrong of her husband to not explain things to her when she asked about them. I’d be like, “I’m sorry, I wasn’t born with all of the knowledge of the world like you!” You gotta learn things from somewhere; might as well be from your spouse. My grandma is always learning new stuff and she’s 84!
I also sided with Keener when she confronted her husband about not asking her if she was “okay” when she stubbed her toe or burned her hand on the oven. He never made a peep, and he thought if something was really wrong, she’d address him and say, “I’m hurt, help me.” Otherwise he shouldn’t care. Well I think that’s rude. Rude! When I hear someone yelp, “Ouch!” I’m gonna ask them if they are okay and make sure they aren’t bleeding to death. Like seriously? Such a douche man.
Anyway, they end up (Spoiler) divorced. Their issues were far from repairable. They let underlying issues build to the point where resentment was too strong to be able to talk things out. However, I bet if they talked more, she would have figured out how insensitive this man was and left him long ago.

Next ya got Frances McDormand and her potentially gay husband. He, my friends, was such a sweetheart. He insisted he wasn’t gay, and even when he was hit on at clothing stores, he’d say, “I’m married… to a woman,” when he realized they were assuming he married a man. This couple complimented each other in a weird way. McDormand was so harsh and blunt with her words, and he was rather forgiving and kind-spoken that they balanced each other out. And he was very understanding, giving Keener a kiss on the forehead when she was crying over the divorce to McDormand. Frankly, if I had a husband like that character, I’d be set!
Through the whole movie I’m wondering if the husband is actually gay and I’m waiting for him and his new friend (the dad from Modern Family, Ty Burrell) to end up making out and frisk 😀 Do they?! That’s a spoiler I won’t spoil!
As for McDormand, she’s like having some life crisis that she doesn’t talk about through the whole movie, to the point where her husband finally confronts it. She acts out by not washing her hair… like ever. Once it’s confronted and brought to the surface, he was able to understand her more and, as I saw it, able to help her through it better. And convince her to wash her hair.
If you don’t express what’s bothering you, your spouse won’t know how to help you. As perfect as they might seem, no one is a mind reader. Things need to be said sometimes.
Overall, this couple seemed stable, just McDormand herself needed some fixing. Again, her husband was golden: very understanding and very kind.

Joan Cusack and her husband were the most stable couple, and I found they talked the most candidly with each other. When a problem itched Joan’s consciousness, she talked it out with her husband and he seemed rather patient and shared his perspective on things in a manner that was very amicable, unlike Keener’s husband who spoke like he was superior to others. Joan was also asked to lend Aniston some money, but she said she’d have to talk to her husband about it. Aniston said, “It’s your money, can’t you do what you want with it?” Joan countered with something like, “Well, we’re married now, so it’s our money.” And I think that was good of Joan. You and your partner should be a unit, and when issues like money come up, you need to decide things together as a unit. Discuss it and come to an understanding or certain method that works for you as a couple.
Overall, I loved how freely Joan and her husband could talk about their thoughts, like their kids’ shoes or sexual orientation, or what gifts they should or shouldn’t buy. Just… unafraid. That’s what I aspire to: a relationship where I’m unafraid of my partner and we can share absolutely anything, unjudged.

I also melted a lil inside when they showed the car scenes between the couples after another dinner together near the end of the film (phew, runon sentence. Say that ten times fast).
They always have dinners at lavish places where women and men alike are all dressed up to the nines.
Both Joan’s husband and McDormand’s husband eyed their wives while they were driving home while there was a slight lull in conversation.
Each husband smiled at their wives and said very clearly, “You were the prettiest one there.”
The wives smiled/blushed in return, and I could see the emotion those simple words evoked. Like I said, I melted. I’m a softie when it comes to this sort of thing, and if I were either of those women, I’d feel like I was luckiest woman ever, having a husband who loved me that much and thought I was always the prettiest, inside and out. Just…. lovely.
If it weren’t for my friend in the room, I would’ve teared freely. I get too emotionally involved in films… But I don’t mind; I enjoy it.

As for Jennifer’s character, for me, she was there to help switch up the pace of the movie, but frankly her character was a whack job and needed some help. Seriously, cheaping out on buying face cream and stalking men?! GET A GRIP WOMAN! Ugh, such a mess of a character. Hence why I didn’t bother talking about her much.
Like seriously, if you have a friend like her that keeps calling a man who has no interest in her, because they had a one-night stand, slap that bitch. She needs to move on and watch the movie “He’s Just Not That Into You”.

Anyways, now that I’ve spoiled parts of the movie, you should still watch it!! ahaha…
Oh, and learn to be communicative with people you have relationships with, including your friends and family, not just your partner. I find the best relationships I have are with people I can be myself with and share my thoughts with.
I know it’s a no-brainer, but some people lose sight of this basic step: communication matters!

Have a good week folks!!! Watch the movie so you can re-read this and understand what the hell I’m even trying to say. There, I gave you some homework! Yay!


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